


fear of the water

by closingdoors



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Iron Man 3, Extremis Pepper Potts, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, SHIELD Is Shady, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-06-15 20:33:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15421032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closingdoors/pseuds/closingdoors
Summary: I'll catch you, he promises.And then he doesn't.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I rewatch Iron Man 3 for the hundredth time. Title taken from the song by SYML.

 

 

She falls.

He reaches out his hand. He's desperate. There's no suits now, just him, and he has to prove he's enough -

_You've gotta let go. I'll catch you._

_I promise._

She falls.

 

 

 *

 

 

He throws up.

Mark 42 blows Aldrich Killian to smithereens. Tony stares at the helmet on the ground, withstanding the fire until the mask pops out. He reaches for his earbud connected to JARVIS and orders the suits to stand down. What's left of them assemble before him, roughly twenty suits in total, all in varying states of function. They stand and wait for their orders, and he throws up on the ground then and there, because Pepper's dead and it's  _his fault._

He promised - 

 

 

*

 

 

The military collect the majority of the bodies. Shady people in shady outfits, gathering the lab experiment people like they're a gold mine. His stomach twists and twists the whole time. It's been thirteen hours, and he's not yet been able to bring himself to leave, just in case. Rhodey oversees it all with grief clinging to him like a shadow. There's guilt on his part too, and Tony has a lot of blame he wants to shift, but he keeps the words  _you could've saved her_ tucked away, under his lungs, never to see the light of day. Because of course Rhodey saved the president. Of course he cleared the site. He's a soldier. Tony isn't.

He'd just wanted to keep the woman he loved safe.

Thirty-six hours after it happens, the ship is completely cleared. Every last nook and cranny searched, every fire extinguished, every shipping container scrubbed clean. Rhodey appears in front of him, then, when the military begin to clear out, ignoring the press that have surrounded the area like feverish hawks. Tony's been sat on top of one of the containers, one suit beside him, the rest sent home. His eyes are dry and his face is itchy with dried blood but he's refused to move, desperate to spot movement on the horizon, for her to defy all odds and surprise him one more time.

"Tony..." Rhodey says, and he already knows what's going to come out of his mouth. "I'm sorry, man. They couldn't find a body."

And  _of course_ they couldn't. JARVIS hadn't been able to locate Pepper's heat signature after Tony threw up. She had fallen into  _fire,_ her body already struggling with EXTREMIS, and of course, of course, nothing of her had been left behind. 

He throws up again, because he's imagining it. She falls, her bones break, she's knocked out instantly. And then the body explodes -

Sometimes he thinks it's possible to have too much knowledge.

Rhodey squeezes his shoulder, saying something, and he thinks it's supposed to be comfort. 

"Get off me," Tony snarls, pushing Rhodey away.

"Let me give you a ride home."

Tony laughs at that one. "My house has been blown to fucking pieces."

"You have other houses, Tony."

Tony stands. Rhodey moves to his feet as well, offering a hand. But Tony shoves him. And then again. Harder. Once more, until Rhodey's on the edge of the container, and maybe it's only a couple feet but if he pushed him Rhodey would fall, too.

"Let it out," Rhodey is saying through it all. He doesn't resist. "It's okay, man."

And then, when he has him on the edge, Tony just  _can't._ God, he wants to. He wants to pull his arm back and land his fist square in Rhodey's face. He wants to watch him fall, wants to see bruises and broken bones and - and - 

He  _can't,_ because it's not Rhodey's fault, and he falls to his knees.

"I've got you," Rhodey murmurs, dropping down so that he can rope one arm around Tony. "Let it out. I've got you."

 

 

*

 

 

Rhodey drives him to his place in Santa Monica. JARVIS informs him it will be precisely five days and sixteen hours until his place in Malibu will be habitable, and another four days and three hours until the renovations will be complete. He makes a reminder then and there to put the house on the market, or bulldoze it, whichever feels more cathartic, the moment the repairs are finished. JARVIS goes silent after that.

The drive is long and quiet. Rhodey stops halfway through for gas. The needle was dangerously close to the E when they started the journey. When they leave, they've a full tank, and Tony almost asks Rhodey to drive for as long as they gas allows them, and maybe even more if he can convert the energy in the suit sitting in the back suit into gas. But his mouth won't work, his limbs are heavy, and he opts for watching the scenery change through the window. 

The moon is low in the sky when they arrive. JARVIS isn't installed directly into this house - he uses it mostly for parties - so he heads straight down to the basic workshop he has installed and gets right to it. He locks the door and Rhodey doesn't ask to be let in. 

It takes seven hours, and a lot of fiddling and hammering open holes in walls that he'll hire someone to cover over, before JARVIS is there. Morning breaks over the horizon and paints everything in orange and it  _hurts -_

Rhodey is still there. Tony doesn't look at him and makes himself a double espresso. Rhodey's eating dry cereal - no milk, of course, because this house isn't a home - and he's in a fresh change of clothes, and he doesn't say anything either.

JARVIS is almost hesitant when he speaks.

"I'm sorry, sir," he says, and Tony wants to curse himself for building an AI that can sound sympathetic, "but you have seven voicemails and ten missed calls from Mrs Potts."

The breath gets caught in his throat.

"What?"

"Miss Potts's mother, sir."

Tony slams his head against the kitchen cupboard. It's a dull ache, so he does it again. Rhodey appears beside him and doesn't stop him. 

"You want me to call her?" Rhodey offers.

"No. I've gotta do it," Tony mutters, resting his head against the wood of the cupboard. His eyes droop. He doesn't move.

Rhodey waits a couple minutes, and then he slips his cell out of his pocket. Tony stays there, stuck still, his espresso sitting in his hands. Rhodey and JARVIS speak, background noise, and then he hears  _Mrs Potts? My name's Colonel James Rhodes_ and he slips out of the kitchen and back into his workshop.

 

 

*

 

 

He gets the call that Happy has woken from his coma seven hours after. Tony is up and out of the workshop immediately, grabbing the keys to one of the half dozen cars he keeps here.

"Woah, Tony," Rhodey stands in front of the front door, blocking him, "you can't drive, man."

"Sure I can." 

"You haven't had sleep in... I don't even know how long," Rhodey says, and Tony doesn't tell him it's been sixty-five hours, "and you haven't eaten. You haven't even  _changed,_ Tony. You're gonna pass out."

"Good thing I'll be at a hospital." 

"Stand  _down,_ Tony."

"Or what, Colonel? You can't threaten me. There's nothing left to take anymore." 

Rhodey deflates. He rubs his hands across his eyes. Tony rubs at his temples, scratching away the scabs of blood that've been left behind. Maybe Rhodey's right. Maybe he should change. Shower. Or something. He strips off the one-sleeved hoodie he'd been wearing, but that's all he can muster, and Rhodey steps aside and lets him go.

 

 

*

 

 

"They feeding you?"

Happy nods, his adam's apple bobbing through his swollen throat. Tony's ordered him the entire box series of  _Downtown Abbey_ online and wired the hospital TV to his Amazon account. Happy's watching it dreamily. Whatever he's on, Tony wants some, it makes his wrists itch, his veins - he stoppers the thought, takes a deep breath, and slumps down in the chair beside Happy's hospital bed. 

When the episode ends, Happy reaches for his phone. He opens up the note app and types one word, turning the screen towards Tony so that he can see: _Pepper?_

Tony stands. He sits again. He's never had to deal with the aftermath like this. When his parents died,  _everyone_ knew, and they walked on eggshells around him. Now he's the one who has to tell people, when really, shouldn't they know? Don't they feel the hollow spots in their chests, too? 

Tony stands once more. He faces the hospital window. There's a whole world out there that he cannot see anymore.

"I promised her I'd catch her," Tony says, monotone. "I didn't."

Happy has another note waiting for him when Tony eventually turns again:  _Not your fault._

He doesn't answer that one. Happy is too weak and frail for him to argue with right now. 

 

 

*

 

 

When he finally gets back to Santa Monica, the refrigerator is stocked full. Rhodey's making breakfast, the scent makes his stomach turn with nausea, and then his mind disconnects from his body, trying to remember how time works. It feels like it should be nighttime, but the morning light is passing through, and Rhodey's plating up bacon. There's two plates, and two glasses of OJ, both of which Tony takes and guzzles down greedily. Rhodey doesn't say a word. He refills both glasses. Tony downs another one and heads to the coffee machine, making two double espressos. Rhodey pushes the one Tony hands out to him away, so Tony downs these too, and ignores the plated breakfast in favour of heading back down to the workshop. 

He hates the workshop here. It's rudimentary at best. The last time he'd used it was - well, he can't even remember. Not that there's anything to make. He has Mark 39 propped up on the couch, staring at him, and Tony stares into thin air, his hands aching for something to make. But there's nothing. His mind is blank. 

Tony roots around in the cupboards and finds a bottle of scotch that's somehow gone untouched. He pours himself a glass, downs this, and then another, which he hesitates on. He keeps an ear out, desperately waiting to hear the clink of heels on stairs, and when there isn't, he downs this glass too. Then he grabs the entire scotch bottle and hurls it at the wall.

It shatters, littering glass shards across the floor, the amber liquid staining the wall. It's not  _enough._ He rips the gauntlet off of Mark 39 and then he's smashing everything. The computers, the machines, the cars - all of it smashed and burned until he's the only thing standing intact somehow, which is exactly the kind of future he had been trying to avoid.

 

 

*

 

 

"Colonel Rhodes is insisting he has access, sir."

When everything else is broken, at least there's JARVIS.

"Tell him to get lost." 

The alcohol is having more of an effect than he'd like. On an empty stomach and a hell of a load of blood loss, he guess that's to be expected, yet it still takes him by surprise when his words slur together.

There's a pause, and then: "He's threatening to break in, sir." 

Tony snorts. "I'd like to see him try."

Still, he has JARVIS unlock the door, and Rhodey's heading down the stairs with a sandwich in hand - and god, is it lunch already? - which he almost drops when he takes in the sight of the workshop.

"Jesus, Tony."

Tony laughs, bitter and loud, kicking at half of a desktop sitting by his feet. 

"Have you been drinking?" 

"So what if I have?" 

Rhodey sighs. "Tony - "

"Why are you here?" He asks. "Why are you even - I  _killed_ her, Rhodes. She - she shouldn't - "

Rhodey sets the plate on the stairs gently, like the clink of china will scare him.

"You didn't kill her. That's not on you, so don't you dare go thinking that."

"It's my fault," he chokes out, and he replays it, over and over,  _I'll catch you, I promise,_ and then she falls. "God, they took her like some sort of fucking trophy - "

"That's not on  _you_."

"It damn well is and you know it!" He yells. It bounces off of the walls and Rhodey remains silent. "If I just - if just once, I kept my goddamn mouth  _shut -_ "

Tony retches, and Rhodey reaches for the nearest trash can, shoving it in Tony's hands. Tony collapses into the broken couch, further down then he'd thought, practically on the ground. Orange juice and espresso and scotch come flying up, painting the insides of the trash can, leaving his throat acidic. He keeps retching even when there's nothing left in him anymore, his back convulsing and straining with energy, until Rhodey takes the trash can away from him and has him rest his head between his knees. 

 

 

*

 

 

Ninety-seven hours pass before Rhodey can convince him to leave the workshop and head upstairs. 

Tony stands in the doorway to his bedroom. He has to brace himself. Pepper's never been here, in this room. Dozens of other girls, some men too, but not her, and yet he can picture her so clearly. Under the sheets, her bare shoulders exposed as she lifts up on her elbows and looks over back at him. The freckles on her nose are more prominent here, and when she smiles he can almost believe he deserves it.

Tony closes the door behind him and lets Rhodey believe he's getting rest. He spends the night watching Pepper's ghost.

 

 

*

 

 

Rhodey can tell he hasn't slept, he knows, but Tony's showered and changed at least. The clothes feel starchy against his skin and for a moment he forgets, delirious, that Pepper's gone, and almost asks her to have the house-staff switch the detergent.

Rhodey sets a plate of toast in front of him. Nothing fancy, just a slithering of butter on top, and Tony holds a slice in his hand, considering. It's been one hundred and five hours since he slept. He should eat, at least.

The first bite is rough. It sticks to the back of his throat, and he feels his breathing cut off, but Rhodey slaps him on the back and it slides down easily. He takes the next few bites feverishly, desperate, and is reaching for the second slice and before he realises that he's actually eating at all, it's all gone. Rhodey passes him his plate and he takes his time with this one. It doesn't make him feel any more whole. He waits for his body to reject it, but it doesn't. Rhodey asks if he wants more, and he finds himself saying yes.

 

 

*

 

 

It's lunchtime when he realises. 

JARVIS and Rhodey have kept him cut off from it. Media. Any mention of Pepper's name. But then Rhodey's switching channels on the television in the living room and Tony's beside him since he can't hang out in his broken workshop, and he flicks to CNN, and there's Pepper's face, right there.

"Stop," Tony says when Rhodey tries to switch the channel.

_STARK INDUSTRIES CEO PRESUMED DEAD._

Tony crushes the glass of water in his hand. He's left with a palm full of shards, more blood than skin. 

"Tony - "

"Are you telling me," he says lowly, "no one has given a statement?" 

Pepper would've given the statement, he realises. She would've sorted everything.

He turns his palm into a fist, letting the glass grind against his skin. On screen, live footage of his house is revealed, with an overexcited blonde rehashing the last week's trauma.

"We didn't know how you'd want to go about it," Rhodey says, and when the hell had Rhodey become  _we_ in SI? "The board have been on my ass trying to get a quote from you. I told 'em to wait, but they need to appoint a new CEO - "

It's all white noise from then on. 

A new CEO. Another suit to answer to. 

She's gone -

She's really gone.

Tony is out of the door, heading down the driveway, and the closer he gets to the gates the more of them he can see. An endless sea of reporters who begin clamouring over each other when they see him coming. There's a thousand questions being launched at him but he doesn't hear any of them.

"She's dead," he gets out, and they fall silent. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Aldrich Killian murdered her. She's dead. She's fucking  _gone._ "

_Mr Stark -_

_Tony -_

_Iron Man -_

They desperately throw their questions at him and he finds himself laughing, sheer delirium taking control of him now. 

"Iron Man? There is no more Iron Man. I trashed all my suits. I'm done," he tells them, and there's an uproar, but he doesn't tell them about the one suit he kept, because he knows the only time he'll ever step in that is when the urge to bury himself in the North Pacific becomes too loud to ignore. "You hear me? I quit."

 

 

*

 

 

Mrs Potts arranges the funeral. It's yet another thing he fails at. 

He knows few of the faces. Rhodey stands beside him, and he spots Bruce in the crowd, but other than that he's at a loss. He's met the majority of Pepper's family, but he's struggling to remember their names, and he certainly doesn't recognise any of the ex-colleagues and high school friends that give him side long glances while he hides behind his sunglasses in December.

It's been one hundred and seventy two hours since he last slept. His brain only remembers half of the eulogy Pepper's sister gives, and then the empty coffin is being lowered, and the crowd disperses for the reception.

Tony shows his face, if only to see Mrs Potts. When he takes her hand, she reminds him of a wise small-town woman, but she looks like she's drowning in her black dress, and surrounded by all the city folk she's small and eyes wide. Pepper's sister is frosty and hostile, appearing at her mother's shoulder the moment he shakes her hand, and it's like looking at Pepper if she'd had brown hair. 

"I think you've done enough here, Stark," Pepper's sister says, and it's awful because he can't even remember her damn  _name._ He must fall into a micro sleep because he blinks and she's standing between him and her mother. "Leave." 

It's suffocating, this room, with all of their looks and their accusations and they're all entirely  _right._

"I can't," he barely whispers. "I can't leave her." 

Rhodey appears without a sound. His hand clamps down on his shoulder when Tony forgets how to breathe and leads him to a secluded hallway. Bruce appears, hands clasped, and stutters something like an apology before he turns right back around and heads out the way he'd entered. The door swings shut behind him, but not before he hears Pepper's sister yelling that Tony had been the worst thing to have ever happened to her.

 

 

*

 

 

After two hundred and four hours without sleep, he passes out unceremoniously in the shower. 

Rhodey finds him and pulls him out twenty minutes later. He guides him into a pair of boxers and into bed. Tony grips the sheets white-knuckled and cannot summon the energy to yell himself hoarse into the pillow, so he falls into dreams, which hurt more than reality anyway - 

 

 

 _I'll catch you_ , he promises.

And then he doesn't.

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

 

Pepper is born again through fire.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the super late update. Hopefully I'll update this much more regularly from now on!

_ Fire. _

  
  
  


_ Fire. _

  
  
  


_ Fire. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She screams -

Except, she has nothing to scream from.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Heat. _

  
  
  


_ Fire. _

  
  
  


_ Tony. _

  
  
  


*

  
  


 

Rhodey helps him pack the Malibu house.

Meaning - Rhodey packs up Pepper's things, and Tony deals with the things from his workshop. Fixes Dum-E and U back up. Ignores the boxes labelled  _ Pepper's Clothes  _ and  _ Pepper's Notes  _ and  _ Pepper's Things  _ Rhodey hands to the moving crew. It takes the better part of three days until he's left the newly-renovated house and moved entirely into his place in Santa Monica.

The moving crew sort most of the unpacking. Tony lurks around in his newly-fixed workshop, with the hidden broken suit of Mark 39, until they're gone. At Rhodey's request, they don't open Pepper's boxes, and when Rhodey is distracted Tony takes them and places them all in his bedroom.

At the end of the day, Rhodey stands by the front door.

"I can stay, you know."

But it's almost been three weeks, so they both know he shouldn't.

"I'll be fine," Tony tells him, and they both know it's a lie.

"Give me a call if you need me.”

He claps a hand on Tony's shoulder and squeezes.

"Promise," Tony says, another lie, but there's nothing else he can offer.

Tony waits until Rhodey's brake lights fade into the night before he closes the door. JARVIS suggests playing some music, or a film, but Tony turns down both offers and then tells JARVIS to shut off for the night, too. And then he's alone.

  
  


 

*

  
  


 

From the ashes, she's reborn.

  
  


 

*

  
  


 

On the month anniversary of Pepper's death, Tony drinks himself something stupid. He loses track of how much alcohol he's consumed and ends up cutting his palms on shards of glass, made after he accidentally drops his glass on the floor. He tries to stand and hits his head on the desk above him, and as he falls to the ground to pass out he briefly thinks  _ well, this is it. _

Except it isn't. He wakes with a dry mouth and a swollen lump above his right eyebrow and no concept of how much time has passed. DUM-E leans over and holds out a glass of water, which Tony knocks away, and his clumsy hands pat the ground in search of the whiskey bottle he'd had before. It's then that he hears the crunch of glass, and looks up just as a shadow passes over him.

Nick Fury stands with his hands behind his back and his neverending look of boredom on his face.

"Is this really what you're doing with your time now?" Fury asks.

"JARVIS."

"Yes sir?"

"Amend security protocols for the house. No SHIELD."

"Yes sir."

"Charming," Fury comments, and moves away without offering him a hand up.

Tony grips the side of the desk to pull himself upright. Fury idly paces the living room, which is absent of any signs of living, his one eye tracking over it all.

"Not that I don't  _ love  _ hanging out with you," Tony says, pushing himself to stand only to collapse onto the couch, "but I quit, so my consulting days are officially over."

"Yeah, I heard about your little declaration."

"Little," Tony scoffs.

"Pretty public way to announce the world has one less protector."

"You think I wanna protect the world anymore?"

"The world always needs protecting. It's not a matter of want," Fury states. He turns towards him, but Tony just closes his eyes. "You really expect the world to believe you've given up? That's it? No more suits."

Tony laughs sourly.

"It's the truth. I blew 'em all to hell."

"Funny, I don't believe you."

Tony sighs, his head beginning to throb now, but he still opens his eyes to meet Fury's.

"I. Quit."

There's almost a crack in Fury's mask. Then the man is turning away, a dramatic cloak swish which Tony mocks internally, and heads to the door.

"You'll answer our calls, Stark."

"Go to hell," he replies, but Fury's already gone. "JARVIS?"

"Yes sir?"

Tony winces.

"A little Advil, please."

  
  


 

*

  
  


 

She feels like an exposed nerve.

There's nothing.

And then there's pain.

There's  _ heat. _

So much that she feels she's become fire.

There's nothing but heat.

But it spreads, and she can flex her arms, and it burns, and she can wiggle her fingers, and it blisters, and she can breathe.

With a gasp, Pepper opens her eyes.

  
  


 

*

  
  


 

New Year's celebrations have never been good to him. December brought the death of his parents, and January brought another year without them.

This year, January brings him the cold reminder that he's lived to a year she hasn't.

It's unfair. Now there are two dates in December to break him.

And New Year's is how this how thing started, isn't it? He made the mistake of leaving Killian alone up on the roof. Or maybe it hadn't been a mistake, because Killian would've just been another one of those suits Tony once worked with in the weapons industry who were happy that their bombs worked as intended and left no room to think of who they killed. Still - he made an enemy that night because he'd chased after the promise of sex, with a woman who'd just become as bad as the rest of them anyway, and now the only person he's ever known who'd been truly  _ good  _ is dead because of him.

As the clock strikes midnight, Tony heads down to his workshop. The surfaces are clean, the room is neat. It hasn't seen any use since it's been repaired. There's nothing to make anymore. No suits to upgrade. He spends his days thinking and drinking. The thinking leads him here. The drinking has him booting up Mark 39.

The suit opens for him, ready, and Tony takes one last swig straight from the bottle. It falls to the floor, and briefly he wonders who'll be the one to clean it up, and if maybe there's people he should apologise to, mainly Rhodey.

But then he lets the suit wrap around him, and the thoughts are gone.

He heads straight out of the ceiling, like all those years before, and heads for the North Pacific. He lets the suit carry him.

"Sir - "

"Mute."

JARVIS does as he's told. On the horizon, Tony sees the ocean approaching, and zooms over the beach, over the crowds of people celebrating the beginning of 2014. He and Pepper had planned to spend this New Year's at home.

Tony pushes the thought away, and flies out further. Until he cannot see Santa Monica when he looks behind him, and then he's headed up, up, into the sky. And his heart is racing faster than it ever has before, and it's the most alive he's felt since she died.

"Cut the power," he orders.

_ I'll catch you. _

_ I promise. _

The minute he begins to plummet, he orients himself so that he's facing the ocean. He sees the choppy waves, their dangerous depths, and switches the boots back on so that he's falling faster.

He cuts into the ocean and keeps going. The water begins to fill the helmet. The light of JARVIS begins to flicker.

Tony closes his eyes and breathes the water into his lungs.

He's still headed down when he loses consciousness.

It happens peacefully.

  
  


 

*

  
  


 

The room is small. Four walls, a door, and a cot. No windows. 

Pepper struggles to her feet. She feels - she doesn't know.

The burning is gone. The heat has ebbed away. When she looks at her hands, they are as pale and freckled as before. She searches for burns, blisters, any evidence of the pain, and there's nothing. The only thing that's changed about her is she's missing the mole she used to have on her right thigh.

Pepper glances around her surroundings and stumbles towards the door.

She expects resistance but doesn't meet it. She falls through the door and on the ground.

Pepper catches herself on her hands, grazes her palms, and then there's warmth. She watches the way her skin glows orange briefly and then the grazes are gone.  _ Oh. _

The room around her is larger. When she looks around, she realises that it's a hallway, not a room. She rises to her feet immediately and heads towards the right end of the hallway. 

She tries to think of the last thing she remembers, a way that she got here. There'd been Killian. Of course. Killian, and Tony, fighting. Or - rather - Tony winning, but the floor gave way, and she'd been moving. Pepper closes her eyes, concentrating, because her memory becomes blurry. She'd fallen onto a platform below. Clung to a pole, every muscle in her body screaming to keep herself up. 

_ I’ll catch you,  _ Tony had promised.

She reaches the end of the hallway. She jiggles the handle but the door’s locked. She almost turns away, and then she remembers -

It’s hard to concentrate on heating her palms. She remembers watching Killian do it, a finger like lava on Tony’s chest piece. Thinking about Tony has her palms flaring with heat immediately. The brass handle melts in her palms instantaneously. The door swings open. 

Nick Fury is waiting for her.

Pepper takes one step into the room. There are no windows. Just four walls, a table, and behind Nick Fury, a door. Pepper takes a calming breath, feeling her palms cool, and crosses the room to take the seat opposite Fury. He doesn’t say a word. Just studies her. 

“Where am I?”

“A secure facility. I can’t tell you all the details. You understand.”

So. It’s like being at work.

“Of course,” she replies smoothly. “And I’m not a prisoner, but I can’t leave, I assume.”

“Not for a while. After all, we don’t understand the effect Extremis has had on your body. Not completely. We had ticking time bombs walking around before Stark intervened.” 

“You’re protecting the public.”

“Naturally.”

Pepper keeps her hands hidden from him, under the table, in her lap. 

“I fell,” she states. Heat simmers beneath her skin. “What happened?”

Fury shifts for the first time. 

“SHIELD cleared the scene. But one of our scientists noticed something…. growing. In the ash.”

Pepper swallows.

“Me.”

Fury’s eye blazes with curiosity. 

“You were dead, Miss Potts. There was nothing left of your body. Do you understand that?”

Worse still - she remembers it. The nothingness, and then heat. 

Pepper’s skin feels like it’s peeling away from her body. If this - even  _ is  _ her body anymore. Is it anything more than fire?

“Where’s Tony?” She asks, resisting the need to scratch at her suddenly itchy skin. Tony must have a million and one theories on how to fix her. 

Fury rises from his seat, studying the walls instead of her.

“Stark is currently in Santa Monica.” 

Pepper frowns. “Why is he…”

It dawns on her slowly. And then she’s on her feet too.

“You let him believe I  _ died? _ ”

“It’s for the best,” Fury states. He faces her. “It’s best the world forgets you, Miss Potts. At least for a little while.”

Her mother. Her sister. Believing she’s  _ dead -  _

Tony. Her chest blossoms with heat.  _ I’ll catch you,  _ he promised, and now he’s left thinking she’s dead. And if she’s not there to take care of him, who is? He’ll ruin himself. He’ll drive himself into an early grave with the guilt. She doesn’t understand what he’s been going through since New York, not completely, but she understands how much he feels that he’s the one who needs to save everyone. And now. Now he hasn’t saved her…

“You’re not going to let me leave, are you?” 

Fury’s eyes track over her neck, where she can feel the heat spreading. She doesn’t need to look down to know that her skin is glowing orange. She feels the heat, and what should be blistering is pleasant, and she feels the unstoppable anger, which should frighten her. It doesn’t. 

“You’re an anomaly, Miss Potts.”

“A lab rat.”

“A discovery.”

The fire licks through her throat.

“Let me go.”

Fury sighs. “I can’t allow - ”

Pepper crosses the room. She has him by the throat now, lifting him off the ground, delirious with power. He doesn’t try to pry her off.

“It wasn’t a question,” she growls.

Fury shakes his head. She tightens her grip.

“You won’t kill me.”

Pepper lets the warm spread through her arms, up to her wrist. She sees fear strike itself across Nick Fury’s face for the first time.

“Won’t I?”


End file.
